Sunday 27 January 2013

Repulsion or coping with seemingly endless days

Last night, I went to see the film Repulsion at the BFI.  It's the second time that I have seen the film.  This time I stayed awake though all the way through, which is not a criticism of the film.  If anything, it's more of an aside concerning how the environment in which you watch a film can either enhance your enjoyment of a film or send you to sleep if you are watching the film from a sofa at home.

Repulsion was released in 1965 and was directed by Roman Polanski.  One of the few directors who can rightly be called an auteur, owing to his eclectic film output and also the general sense of unease that pervades all of his films.  I could simply discuss the film here but I cannot give too much away, in case anyone wants to see it after reading this and besides as is the case with most good films, it should act as a springboard to exploring other connected issues, in this case mental illness and coping strategies.

Carol, the main protagonist in the film, suffers from mental illness.  Unlike most modern films where the directors feel the need to spell out from the beginning that their characters are suffering from mental illness and that they are seeing a therapist five times a week, she suffers internally.  As is the case with many sufferers, her personal internal struggles are manifested externally too.  At times, she erratically brushes herself and rubs her eyes.  The film also mainly uses naturalistic sound and very little music to create a more authentic experience for the viewer.  Time passes very slowly indeed.  It progresses but the pace of the film is deliberately very slow.  By the end of the film, the viewer is aware that Carol is an Everywoman. We all have the propensity to suffer as Carol has suffered and indeed, we all probably know someone who has.

Carol's mental struggles are primarily focused around her issues concerning sexuality.  She doesn't say much and that is the tragedy of the film and indeed, of so many people's lives.  She cannot talk about her feelings.  She just feels as though something is not quite right but she cannot put her finger on it.  Her later actions are an indictment on a society that regularly fails to see the people who struggle with each day and become more scared and withdrawn.  To give one pertinent detail of the film away, a photograph is periodically focused on in different ways throughout the film.  It's a family photograph showing Carol and her family.  Throughout the duration of the film, Carol lives with her sister and in this photograph, her sister is shown with her head on her father's lap.  There are various other figures in the photograph.  Carol is shown in the background looking into the distance.  Later in the film, we get to see how troubled she seems in this photograph suggesting how sometimes the suffering is apparent from an early age, if only people are aware enough to notice.  Clearly, in big families, this is not always the case.

I mentioned above how Carol lives with her sister during the film and it is awful how she asks her sister not to go away for a holiday (she is going on holiday with her married lover.  The relationships in this film are tangled and complicated).  Of course, her sister tells her not to be silly and that decision has unfortunate consequences.  Being alone can be amazingly liberating when we are feeling happy and contented but when things are going wrong, it can lead to a state of withdrawal.  Human beings can be like snails, we disappear into our shells and worry whether we will ever have the strength to come out again.

Mental illness plagues most people at some point in their lives.  Sometimes, it takes the form of depression and on other occasions, more extreme manifestations of unease such as OCDs (Obsessive Compulsive Disorders) and other neuroses etc.  Sufferers are as numerous as the symptoms they experience.  Coping with mental illness involves a number of personal steps.  Each step that is taken reveals more about the individual than the endless range of self-help books churned out to encourage people to aspire to ever more lofty goals.

Before I continue, yes, I have and do experience bouts of mental illness, primarily depression.  I reveal this not to generate sympathy but to make it clear that I have some understanding of what people go through on a daily basis.  I do not know everything and what I suggest as coping mechanisms may not be useful to everyone but they may help you to realise that when you feel as though things are out of control, you are not alone.

The first step is to understand yourself enough to know when things are not right.  Sometimes, it's a feeling that everything is getting on top of you and that trying to provide a structure to everyday life is simply not working.  At this point, you have a number of choices available to you.  You can go to the doctor and they can refer you to see a therapist (unfortunately, waiting times can be long but there are other options, private counselling if you can afford it or even simply going back to see your doctor for awhile).  Personally, I feel that the most important thing is to keep talking to people you trust but be aware that most people only have one or two people, they feel that they can be truly open with.  I have never used them but The Samaritans are apparently quite useful.  Also certain companies provide counselling services of types, so let your employers know if you are feeling stressed etc.

The second step is to identify that any personal improvements are going to take time.  It's a cliche but oddly true, most truly life changing moments are generated by 'tiny steps'.  Focus on the here and now, understand what gives you pleasure and also conversely, what is causing you pain.  Importantly, understand what you can change and what you cannot hope to change.  The things you can't change will continue to impact upon you but sometimes, either by becoming more involved and offering more input or simply viewing everything as though from a distant peak, you will not internalise all of the bad things going on around you.

Most Cognitive Behavioural techniques (to sum up briefly, essentially exploring how positive changes can occur when we identify the bad thought processes that hold us back i.e. 'I am a failure' and offer counter techniques) involve focusing on the here and now.  How are you feeling at this moment in time?  If you are feeling down, focus on the sunlight streaming through the window, the texture of the table, the simple repetitive tap tap tap of your fingers on the keyboard as random words scatter across the screen.

A short term coping device for mental illness is anti-depressants but long-term, I feel that they mask rather than help you to sort out the underlying problems.  They may serve a purpose for the initial period of self-exploration following the realisation that you do not feel well but you don't want to be on them forever.  They can have numerous side effects including messing with your sleeping patterns.  Waking up at erratic periods throughout the night and not being able to sleep really doesn't help you feel better.

Personally and surprisingly, I simply find that doing things with other people helps you to feel more centred.  In the past, when I felt down, I became more reclusive.  Now, I find myself going out more.  Learning what you enjoy doing and the people you truly care about is more conducive to good mental health than a dozen therapists, although if you feel the need to see a therapist go and try to see one.  They do help, although as mentioned earlier waiting lists can be long.

Now that I have rambled on for ages, to sum up, Repulsion was and is a strikingly relevant film.  Carol felt alone and many sufferers of mental health feel the same way.  This blog entry is about being more observant about the state of the people around you.  If someone seems down, by all means ask them if they are okay.  They may not want to talk but you never know, your simple question could help them to realise that people do care.  You can help to make someone's day even better, simply by acknowledging they exist.

                                                                                                       Barry Watt - 27th January 2013

Monday 21 January 2013

Food - Sustainer, Violator, Potential Killer and Aesthetic Masterpiece

As a child, I used to eat a very limited diet, consisting of fish fingers and bread.  Apparently, I kept this up for some time and even visited the doctor who stated that so long as I was eating something, fish fingers and bread do provide some degree of nutritional value.  Nowadays, my diet is so much more varied.  But recently, I have been thinking about food and its representation in the media and the role it plays in peoples' lives.  This will be a blog entry in fragments.  Small slices of a greater whole that may not sustain your appetite for long but could be like an appetiser.

Food as Ritual

Our most persistent image of food consumption throughout various cultural forms consists of various groupings sitting around a table eating.  The environment could be a working class dining room in a soap such as Eastenders or an expensive restaurant in films such as The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover.  The one thing that most of the cultural appearances of gatherings shares is a sense of impending doom.  Something happens during the meal that disrupts the family in some way.  The ritual of eating a meal together is seen as a necessary evil to bring certain tensions to a head.  The most extreme example of a dinner in any film is probably the one that features in the original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  The Family in question are cannibals and killers, archetypal rednecks who have little conception of morality and for whom inbreeding seems to be the order of the day.  Leatherface, that iconic horror heartthrob, with his mask made out of human skin is actually the character you feel most sorry for as the film progresses as he isn't the smartest individual on the planet.  Anyhow, at one point in the film, the Family are sitting around a table with a woman tied up with her head over her bucket, whilst the Grandfather figure who seems virtually dead is trying to smash her head in with a hammer.  He is unsuccessful and continues to drop the hammer.  This scene is horrible for a variety of reasons, not least the fact that the other Family members are cheering the Grandfather on reminding him of his past life as a butcher when he was one of the most successful killers around.  Indeed, the film is like a condensed overview of the butchery trade and the horror is in the detail; the meat hooks and the bloody aprons.  The dinner scene is quite long and by the end of it, you feel as deranged as the Family.  The captured woman gets away but that doesn't detract from the fact that here is yet another family meal where things go very wrong.  In soap operas and dramatic films, the family meal is revelatory.  The sordid little secrets come to light as the Xmas crackers are pulled or the birthday cake is sliced.

Food as Art Form

Food preparation and presentation are often glamorised in the various medias.  A fortune is made from the sales of celebrity endorsed cookery books yet it's intriguing to think how many of these books are actually used.  On TV cookery programmes, you either encounter cooks such as Nigella Lawson, who eroticses every aspect of preparation (Why not accidentally stick your thumb in chocolate and suck it off?) or smug ex working class boys such as Jamie Oliver who just seems to throw his dishes together.  The one thing that the TV chefs share in common is how immaculate their dishes seem when they are finished.  They are miniature works of art.  They could taste like excrement but from the viewer's perspective, they represent something obtainable.  An art object to potentially please a spouse or potential partner. 

Food as Political Issue

Everyone probably remembers Jamie Oliver's little campaign to improve the quality of school meals. He made quite a name for himself with his holier than thou attitude towards the food served in schools in Peterlee etc.  Now interestingly, what was not widely considered was the cost of his healthy eating campaign and whether it was economically viable in the long term.  I have seen no reference to his campaign for awhile, although politicians etc were quick to jump on his bandwagon.  What becomes clear the more that you consider it is the cost of a healthy diet.  Fruit and vegetables are not cheap.  Schools are looking for the cheapest suppliers to make sure that their children get something to eat.  I think it's time to look at how supermarkets, politicians and parents can help to improve the diets of children but politicians are too tied up with the practical implications of obesity overlooking the causes in favour of the effects.  Yes, we can see that children seem to be getting fatter but doesn't this have something to do with the fact that unhealthy food is actually cheaper and lasts longer than fruit and vegetables?  Also it's regularly more pleasant to taste, if not healthily so.

Food to Excess

Based on the obesity argument, the UK eats too much unhealthy food.  Looking at the situation slightly differently, its arguable that at various points in our lives, we all eat too much.  Food is a comfort during periods of depression.  The consumption of chocolate is known to help with the development of serotonin levels, which help us to feel more upbeat and positive.  Also from a practical perspective, we should theoretically eat more in the winter to keep us warm.  Excessive eating is horrible to see in various films that explore gluttony such as the aforementioned, The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover and Le Grande Bouffe.  The latter film being a particularly eye opening exploration of a group of wealthy people who decide to eat themselves to death.  At one point, it becomes clear that extreme eating habits not only play havoc with your digestive system but also lead to blocked toilets.  Also the Mr Creosote sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus helps to reiterate the notion that gluttony is tied up with social standing, which is arguably no longer true as truly expensive dishes are minute and more to do with aesthetics and taste than size.  True gluttony seems to be more associated with disillusioned individuals of all social classes for whom food is a substitute for happiness or simply a life raft.

The Future of Food 

Food will no longer be taken for granted in the wake of the scandal concerning horse meat detected in a certain brand of burgers.  We can no longer assume that the food we eat is actually what we think it is.  People suffer from allergies to aspects of food and food preparation, which seems to be a recent phenomena, possibly connected with the continued usage of colourings and flavourings to help to mask the fact that the majority of the food we eat is so far removed from what we originally perceived it to be that we may as well eat a bar of chocolate rather than a loaf of bread as it's probably healthier for us.

The ongoing struggle we all experience concerning what constitutes healthy and what is unhealthy for us will remain until we finally face up to the fact that we are food too.  Our bodies are veritable pick and mixes for organisms.  We are literally finger licking good to some.  Let's celebrate food but let's not forget that we form part of the food chain too.

                                                                                                  Barry Watt - 21st January 2013

Saturday 12 January 2013

Toys (Revisited)

Once upon a time, there was a young boy, he had lots of toys then he went to college and to University studied Cultural Studies and read an essay called Toys by Roland Barthes in the collection Mythologies, which like many things he read at the time greatly influenced his way of thinking rendering him the cynical and slightly disaffected adult he is today.

The young boy was me, I am still developing the adult.  At heart, I am still a kid.

Barthes' essay is quite short and in it, he asserts the notion that French toys are essentially designed to prepare the child for the adult world.  I am going to quote from the essay three times and explore to what extent his assertion is true in the UK in the 21st Century.  Also I will explore the toys that mattered to me as a child and what they reveal about me now or how they helped me to develop. 

'All the toys one commonly sees are essentially a microcosm of the adult world; they are
all reduced copies of human objects, as if in the eyes of the public the child was, all told, nothing but a smaller man, a homunculus to whom must be supplied objects of his own size.'

                                                                                                    (Barthes - Mythologies: Page 53)

'French toys are usually based on imitation, they are meant to produce children who are
users, not creators.'

                                                                                                    (Barthes - Mythologies: Page 54)

'Current toys are made of a graceless material, the product of chemistry, not of nature.
Many are now moulded from complicated mixtures; the plastic material of which they are made has an appearance at once gross and hygienic, it destroys all the pleasure, the sweetness,
the humanity of touch.'

                                                                                                      (Barthes - Mythologies: Page 54)

Normally, I wouldn't put the quotes together like that but somehow my mind tells me that this is the best way to absorb their content.  Before I start in earnest, Roland Barthes was a French literary theorist, a philosopher, a linguist, a critic and a semiotician.  He wrote the essay Toys in the Fifties and the fact that it jumped back into my head, some eighteen years since I last read it suggests that its content still resonates and its relevance has not diminished over time.

Sitting in front of me is an Argos catalogue.  Everyone has one.  They are as ubiquitous as the Bible in modern households, only not as edifying or instructional.  I flick to the back section as I once did as a child as the Toy pages are located there.  As an adult I am remarkably underwhelmed by the range of goodies on offer.  The toys for young children consist of kitchen sets, toolboxes, work tables.  In addition to more friendly looking toys such as pretty plastic animals that play music and other toys involving large plastic colourful shapes to slot into holes.  Also baby dolls for the little girls that cry, urinate, vomit and spout inarticulate phrases.  Cars and tanks etc for the boys.  Little girls and little boys are being groomed into premature adulthood.  Gender roles are being established.

As boys and girls get older, it's curious how the toys they are drawn to are those that feature on television or in the cinema.  Toy creation and demand took on a whole new form after Star Wars and Lucas' decision to take a drop in wages in favour of a cut of the merchandising.  Toys for older children are by and large characters from the latest kid friendly programme or film.  They are plastic figures with umpteen dozen points of articulation.  One day, I can imagine a character giving another character an extended middle finger salute, simply by moving the finger on the hand.  Also for the slightly older girls, the Barbie and Sindy dolls still push the Dynasty lifestyle with their condos, sports cars and good looking, frankly Aryan boyfriends.

The one saving grace is Lego, this at least allows a degree of creativity rather than reenactments of scenes from a cartoon or film.  Such a simple concept yet absolutely brilliant, small blocks that can be slotted onto one another in various configurations.  Having said that, even this has been tarnished by the thematic Lego sets tying in with the aforementioned cartoons or films.

As a child, I had Action Man toys promoting the strong sense of masculinity.  Action Man toys with their smooth muscular bodies like Daniel Craig, only with less phrases.  One of the brand had a plastic ring you pulled and he would then spout choice phrases such as 'Give me some cover' and 'Enemy overhead'.  I also loved Star Wars toys, Masters of the Universe toys and Transformers.  Of course, I was sucked in by the adverts and films and programmes.  My parents were forced into the position that many adults face how to satisfy your little monster as they adapt to the 'I want' culture that will continue as they too grow to give birth to little monsters.  I also had Lego.

Interestingly, I also liked playing with my sister's dolls with her.  Action Man and Sindy would regularly have a pleasant afternoon together in the ridiculously enormous Sindy house that resembled a hotel with a lift.  If I ever have kids, I will try to help them develop their own identities as my parents did.  I will also steer them away from the consumer ethic that is destroying Western civilisation.  Apples are for eating.

I would suggest that Barthes' essay is still crucially relevant as he foresaw the nightmarish world that we are producing for our children.  The only thing he couldn't have seen was how bad the world of branding, intellectual property and merchandising would become.  We live in a world of synthetic man made substances.  Kids have largely sadly lost the sensation of natural materials such as wood (Barthes makes reference to this in Toys too).  As they get older, children become more and more the products of external influences.  Their parents are less important than the latest film involving a talking Squirrel and his menagerie of friends.  Plenty of raw material for a future of endless consumerism.

Books saved me.  Books will save your children.  Make sure that for every toy they receive, you give your children an hour of attention.  Their souls, compassion and creativity are worth saving.

                                                                                                       Barry Watt - 12th January 2013

If you want to read it, here are details of the Roland Barthes' collection, Mythologies:

Mythologies by Roland Barthes (Vintage, 1993)

The essay Toys is reproduced on pages 53 to 55 of this edition.

Sunday 6 January 2013

'There's blood in the shoe' - Fairy Tales, Theatre and the Importance of Spectacle

Over the pre-Christmas and Christmas period, I have had the pleasure of attending three very different performances, all based upon fairy tales.  Each performance has been primarily aimed at a particular audience yet would appeal to most age groups.  I have seen Kneehigh's Midnight's Pumpkin at the Battersea Arts Centre, the English National Ballet's The Nutcracker at the Colisseum and Meow Meow's take on the Little Match Girl at the Queen Elizabeth Hall.  My experience of all three of these shows has been different and has led me to the conclusion that fairy tales are just as important to adults as they are to children.  They represent lost innocence and the need to hand down what are essentially morality tales, small lessons for children growing up, in new and traditional forms.

Kneehigh's Midnight Pumpkin is a uniquely modern take on the Cinderella story.  It is currently still on at the Battersea Arts Centre.  The production involves a fairly high level of audience participation.  At the start, members of the audience are asked to help moving boxes by actors dressed as moving men/women and rewarded with small cakes for their efforts.  Uniquely for what is ostensibly a pantomime, no attempt is made to differentiate between the audience members.  The kids are encouraged to participate as are the adults.  This has the rather beautiful effect of establishing the fact that children are human beings too and although, they may not always understand, the same can be true of adults.  In this production, Cinderella is called Midnight after the powerful motif that appears in various versions of the Cinderella story (i.e. that she has to be home by Midnight).  She is portrayed by a bespectacled actress who dresses in a casual sense.  Her Wicked Stepmother is played by a male actor in drag and the two Ugly Stepsisters are only ugly in the sense of their characters.  They are money hungry, object obsessed monsters in their early twenties.  Midnight's Dad is a put upon stereotypical man trying to keep everyone happy.  There is no Fairy Godmother in this production.  The Pumpkin of the title serves this role and the Mice help the Pumpkin to make Midnight's dreams come true.  The plot roughly follows the plot that you are probably familiar with, girl goes to Ball in disguise falls in love with Prince Charming (or Prince James as he is called in this production), leaves abruptly at Midnight.  The Prince subsequently holds another Ball to find the mysterious woman who is refers to as his 'Pocket Rocket' owing to her height.  After this second Ball, she loses her red shoe and the door to door investigations begin.  The reference to 'Blood in the shoe', relates to the Wicked Stepmother cutting off her daughters' toes so that their feet will fit the shoe.  The other cast members sing a song advising the Prince to examine the shoe for blood so that he will find the true owner of the shoe.  It all ends happily ever after.

I do not reveal everything about the production as if you can, you should experience it for yourself.  My interest from the perspective of this blog is the way that Kneehigh explores the pathos that surrounds the Cinderella story and how pervasive loss is as we grow to become adults.  Midnight's deceased Mother is a metaphorical shadow who has provided her daughter with a blueprint for her life, which ultimately, she has to lose in order to prepare herself for a new life with the Prince.  The understanding of loss and the ageing process helps us to develop as human beings.  The folk story of Cinderella is as much about accepting your individuality and the very necessary process of change as about the troubled relationships of the characters.  On a passing note, the cast also dance, play musical instruments, sing and generally engage the audience in the most strikingly engaging way possible.  Kneehigh are a superbly innovative company.

The English National Ballet's take on The Nutcracker was quite traditional.  It is quite a straightforward tale of good versus evil.  As such, it is probably the most accessible ballet for children, although I did keep hearing 'That's not the Sugar Plum Fairy' all the way through the second act from behind me.  The ballet was based upon E.T.A. Hoffman's story, The Nutcracker and the Mouse King.  As I am not particularly familiar with the story, I direct you to the following link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nutcracker_and_the_Mouse_King

It's a strange story and the Mouse King is actually quite scary even for adults.  The spectacle of the show and the small details such as the Grandfather Clock striking Midnight holds the audience enthralled as essentially children, dolls and toys are the primary focus of the story.  The only adult who serves a significant role is Drosselmeier, the Godfather of the children, a councillor and Magician in the original story and in many of the subsequent versions of the story.  He is portrayed as an enigmatic figure who directs the proceedings.  I would be curious to know if I were to ask the audience who would they like to be in the production if they had the chance.  Anyhow, once again, the focus is on those elements from our past that continue to resonate in some part of our psyches.  We want to be children playing with dolls and toys escaping from the horrors of adulthood.  The Mouse King symbolically representing the chaotic aspects of our lives, the conflicts, wars, arguments and jaded cynicism that children don't acquire until later in life when their hope becomes tainted.  It is interesting how the second half of the show primarily consists of spectacle as the plot essentially ends with the Mouse King being vanquished.  The most engaging dance sequences are reserved for this section of the performance.  Seeing dancers crossing paths with one another creating intricate patterns of colour and movement engages the attention far more completely than the plot centred first half.  The visual and visceral capture the imagination on a more emotional level than the silent progression of plot within the medium of dance.  This was another memorable production, which finished yesterday.  The dance of the snowdrops particularly engaged my attention and interestingly, the children in the audience remained quietest during this sequence.  Vibrancy of movement and form acts like an aphrodisiac, a gentle massage for troubled minds.

The final production I wish to talk about (yet the first one I saw) was Meow Meow's Little Match Girl.  I saw this at the Queen Elizabeth Hall with a friend.  The production is loosely based upon the Hans Christian Andersen story about a little girl who sells matches who slowly freezes to death.  This production which is essentially a cabaret for adults involves Meow Meow, a buxom Australian performer with a great voice and a tremendous repertoire of songs effectively reducing theatre to its fundamental attributes, inspiring performances and visual spectacle.  Having said that, the spectacle in this production paradoxically involves minimalism as Meow Meow spends quite a bit of the show in the darkness with minimal lighting, although this proves more effective than flooding the venue with light.  Seeing her face lit up by someone's mobile phone as she sings a sad song resonates far more powerfully than a singer in a huge venue seen from a distance.  The lack of lighting provides a major plot point as various members of the audience are encouraged to ride a bike to light up the stage.  The production loosely has a plot that involves a stalker and a set of short term relationships that develop each time Meow Meow arrives in a new place.  It ends with the word 'Whatever!' created out of bulbs as the audience reaches the 'happy ending'.  This production is quite unlike any performance piece based upon fairy tales I have ever seen.  Having said that, although it is very loosely based upon the Hans Christian Andersen, it is still true to the essence of fairy tales, the love story that goes through various obstacles before being consummated at the end.  The 'Whatever!' is the cynical world of adulthood impinging upon the need for magic and fantasy in hard times.  It was an engaging show that flowed thanks to the choice of songs and humour. 

So as a closing point, I am led to the conclusion that fairy tales still provide powerful source material for an eclectic range of performers and performance styles.  They also still engage children but mainly as a result of the need for adults to pass down the memories of their childhood experiences, pantomimes with their 'He's behind you', cross-dressing, simple love stories and wicked villains that are vanquished at the end.  The villains aren't always defeated in real life, so those who are lucky enough to become parents have the responsibility of instilling hope in their children.  After all, fairy tales are ultimately about the possibility for change.

As it's the only show that's still on, please go and see Midnight's Pumpkin, support your inner child and embrace the creativity of one of the most innovative of the current theatre groups.

 http://www.bac.org.uk/whats-on/midnights-pumpkin/

                                                                                                  Barry Watt - 6th January 2013
      

Tuesday 1 January 2013

Fifty Shades of... Whatever!

Every year breeds its own cultural phenomena. Sometimes, it's a film such as 'E.T. The Extra Terrestrial' that serves as the apex of cultural endeavour.  Occasionally, it's a book.  Well, 2012 marked the year of the Fifty Shades Trilogy.  By May last year, any one who hadn't read or heard about these books was not on the planet.  The PR push behind these books helped them to top the bestsellers list in most UK bookstore chains.  It was a book that you could happily pick up in most supermarkets off of the shelf next to the latest Richard and Judy Book Club selection.  Also it was one of those rare books that people actually passed on to one another.  In the age of the Kindle, this essential act will soon be relegated to the Forgotten Land of the Laser Disc, Cassette Tape and Typewriter.  Personally, I prefer to hold a product that originated from the flesh of a tree rather than binary coding on an electronic simulacrum of the Ten Commandments but that's beside the point.  The point is that a trilogy dubbed 'Mummy Porn' had infiltrated the cultural parlance with a degree more virulence than a new strain of bacteria.

Everywhere you looked you spotted references to 'Fifty Shades' this and that.  Many conversations were being conducted by people up and down the country, some behind closed doors and some al fresco by brave advocates of sexual experimentation and by other hopefuls desperate for a last injection of passion into otherwise arid sex lives. 

Now, why would a trilogy of this nature capture the public attention at this point in history?  This largely rhetorical question can be explored with another more obvious question, why did you choose to read part or all of the trilogy or none of it?  I would like you to post an answer to one or both of these questions below as I am genuinely interested.

Ironically, although it had been around for paperback form for awhile, it wasn't until March last year or around that time when I attended one of the book groups I frequent that someone spoke about the trilogy.  She expressed that although the books were badly written, they were page turners (well, the first two were, I don't think that she got as far as the final book).  Shortly after this, I was at work and a colleague had just finished it and chatted about it a little.  I expressed an interest in reading the first book and then over time, I read the others.

Now this blog entry is not intended to give a complete narrative rundown of the Fifty Shades Trilogy,  but to sum up, it's the story of Christian Grey, a very wealthy chap in his mid twenties and Anastasia Steele, a student who jumps through a series of hoops and ends up with the seriously disturbed young man.  He has a predilection for sado-masochism, which I want to explain now is not the reason why I call him a 'seriously disturbed young man' and is at least initially, a control freak.  At some point in the first book, Christian Grey suggests that Ana (as she is more commonly known) sign a contract setting out the type of relationship he wants with her.  Of course, he perceives her as the 'Submissive' and he as the 'Dominant'.  It's the usual patriarchal crap suggesting how he wants her to behave in certain given situations and even how she dress.  As the trilogy continues, the reader learns how he was effectively abused as a teenager and then continued as the 'Submissive' party in a relationship with the abuser.  The books also explore the families and friends of Christian and Ana.  Christian's brother being quite a nice and conventional guy who the author, EL James fails to develop adequately.  Indeed, none of the characters is truly rounded.  The worst criticism that can be levelled at the trilogy is the fact that it reads like the works of De Sade without the latter's lunacy, philosophy and personal integrity in his pursuit of the promotion of pain and pleasure.

Having read all of the books that make up the Fifty Shades Trilogy, it succeeds in doing something that I would never have thought possible.  It sanitises sado-masochism and renders the sexual act so unerotic that upon finishing it, this reader wondered whether he had missed the point.  In fact, I have been told by several female readers that it is because of my gender that 'I fail to get it' owing to the fact that they perceive that it is written for a female readership.  I would argue that as a trilogy it ultimately fails to be arousing or titillating because stylistically it is too male.  It reads like a stereotypical male sexual fantasy.  But and this is an essential fact, not all men want to read about women being restrained and beaten.  Although, I will add here, that at least in the trilogy it is largely consensual, particularly when they finally define the boundaries of their sexual practises and relationship outside of the terms of reference of a contract.  Ana is never raped by Christian.  She performs the odd act that she doesn't like very much but Christian does give her the option to opt out of anything that makes her uncomfortable.

Having said all this, I will add that before anyone feels they have the right to attack the Fifty Shades Trilogy, they should read at least one of the books.  My pet grievances involved Ana's continual references to her 'Inner Goddess'.  Every time, something significant is going to happen to her on an emotional level, she goes on about her 'Inner Goddess smiling' etc etc etc.  Also Ana's thoughts are often registered on the page in italics and her thoughts clearly indicate that sometimes, her command of the English language isn't likely to make her the ideal partner in a debating competition.  To say that she thinks banal and pointless thoughts at times is an understatement, 'Oh my...' (Page 39 - Fifty Shades of Grey (Arrow Books, 2012) ).   I personally found that the trilogy could have been condensed to one book as this blog entry could have been reduced to one paragraph.

But wait!  I forgot the Silver Balls...  How could I forget the Silver Balls?  Basically, at one point in the Fifty Shades Trilogy, Christian inserts these into Ana's nether regions, which she then carries internally clearly becoming more aroused until she can barely walk or speak coherently.  Anyhow, if anyone wants to see the kind of thing that EL James probably had in mind, please see below.  Apparently, they are very good for the pelvic muscles, although at the moment, they just feel like a bad case of hemorrhoids!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Silver-Balls-Exercises-Surgical-Stainless/dp/B00A3ALMSQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1357057749&sr=8-1

Anyhow, this blog entry has been mildly excited by Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed (Arrow Books 2012) by EL James.

                                                                                                   Barry Watt - 1st January 2013